Is This a Cat in a Hat?

Well, I missed all of the game last night. It looks as if it was just an exaggeration of the Memphis game, with Frye and Crawford whiffing on offense and the Atlanta guards having their ways on defense. Though the Knicks were able to suppress the superstar stylings of Tyronn Lue and Speedy Claxton, Joe Johnson went thoroughly bananas. Once again, the guys had problems with foul trouble and technicals. Not good, but not the end of the world.

Anyway, I missed the game because I was seeing the opening night showing of the Borat movie. I wouldn't call it the funniest movie of all time, but it is surely the greatest comedic accomplishment I've ever seen. I previously thought the Jackass guys had gone the farthest to be funny, but Sacha Baron Cohen has taken it to a whole new level. I highly reccomend this movie, whether you are an Ali G fan or not. (By the way, I was surprised to see that about a quarter of the people there were senior citizens. I'm pretty sure the stuff they do in that film woulda given me a heart attack if I was that old.)

Tonight, for the first time in my life, I will be attending the Knicks' home opener, and getting my free hat. Isiah Thomas will be taking on his former employer, in what has often been a fun team matchup. This needs to be the game that Chan gets his shooting touch and defense back together, cause Jermaine O'Neal must be contained. If he isn't getting contested and picking up fouls, it's gonna be hard to outscore that team. Let's do this.

Sup, ladies. Oh, this? It's just a throwback Knicks hat presented by Foot Locker. Yes, I know.

TNT Thursdays, MSG Fridays.

The undefeated Knickerbockers take on the Hawks this evening, down in A-town. New York had problems with the Hawks last season, dropping 2 of 3 very convincingly. One thing I've noticed over the past few seasons is that the Knicks tend to get beaten up by youngsters and unknown guards. Wednesday night's attack by Atkins, Gay, and Warrick was nothing new. Off the top of my head, I can remember Emeka Okafor, Travis Outlaw, and T.J. Ford having coming out parties against the Knicks. Likewise for such typically useless guards as Tyronn "WNBA" Lue and Alan Anderson. They totally underprepare for the lesser-known guys.

Somehow this lady becomes a superstar when she plays the Knicks.
Anyway, the Hawks are loaded with such players. Expect either Speedy, Lue, or Shelden Williams to throw it down tonight. Joe Johnson's been a famous Knick-killer too. Who knows. The Knick guards MUST step it up on perimeter D or it's gonna be a long, long night. Let's hope they can pull it together. I probably won't be able to catch some of this game on TV, so I'll be sure to check out the replay or recap later tonight. Feel free to leave any thoughts on the game in the comments.

On another note, my favorite TV program on earth, TNT NBA Thursday, returned last night. I went to sleep completely reminded of how much I love that damn show. Barkley and Smith are two of the smarter, more interesting guys in sports, and can express their opinions without being boorish or obnoxious (Hear me, Stephen A?). Ernie Johnson is solid as hell, and looks to be soundly whooping the ass of cancer. It's wonderful to have him back. Craig Sager is delightfully eccentric, (Did you know that he was the mascot at Northwestern?), and has great interactions with the guys in New York.

Daaaaamn, Willy the Wildcat cleans up!
Down at courtside, Marv Albert and Steve Kerr are fantastic (and have new matching hairstyles). Kevin Harlan is solid and I always confuse Doug Collins's voice with Kerr's, anyway. I'm babbling, but you get the point. Eliminate the Miller family and this is the perfect sports show. I'm ecstatic to have it back in my household.

So...peep the game tonight if you can, and fill me in on the stuff I miss. Peace out, and watch that Isiah Thomas video again. Seriously, it ages like a fine wine.

EDIT: Go sign the petition at Need4Sheed to bring our bitching back. They also found the Zeke video long before I stumbled upon it, so big ups for that.

No Words.

I can't even describe this thing I just found. All I know is that I can't stop watching it.



My favorite part is Isiah's "EAT THAT. HOW'S LUNCH." moment on that poor little kid. He also sucks at the hokey pokey.

Jared's Got the Munchies

I love this story. While Jared Jeffries was under anesthesia, which was apparently LSD, he had a most interesting experience.

"While he was under anesthesia during an operation to put a screw in his broken left wrist Monday, Knicks forward Jared Jeffries was mumbling something about running through a cotton-candy field, chasing a chili dog with mustard."

The Times added the possible involvement of a hobbit in said dream. That's just hilarious. For some reason, I really like this guy. And damn, could we use his perimeter defense. Get healthy, Jared.

Mmm...Fucking hobbits...Gimme my chili dog...Mmmmff
Full article from the
Star Ledger

Knicks 118, Grizzlies 117

Undefeated, bitches! This is for all you doubters out there. I TOLD you so.

In all seriousness...hot DAMN what a typical Knicks way to start the season. By the end of the game I didn't care whether they lost or won, the damage had been done. They looked amazing through 3 quarters, but when Curry blew a dunk and Balkman shat the bed on a fast break...I knew things were turning around. Oh well. A win's a win.

Some note's from last night:
-For those of you that caught the pre-game show...Isiah seems really annoying in practice. I don't know if this video can be found anywhere, but he pretty much stands behind the guards as they warm up and yells "Get hot! Get hot!" over and over again. I'd probably snap and kick him after awhile. Maybe that's just me.
-Channing Frye needs to shave. That sweaty little faded mustache does not look good in HD.
- I'm pretty sure David Lee's chin goes directly into his chest.

More important notes:
- What exactly went on in the huddle at the end of regulation? It must've been something like this...
Isiah: Alright, guys, the game is tied and its ours to win. Who's gonna take the last shot? Jamal?
Jamal: Well, coach, I'm not really feeling it. To be frank, I've just started shooting with my eyes closed or on one foot, cause I'm that off.
Isiah: Fantastic. Everyone get Jamal the ball 25 feet out and he'll take a fadeaway three to win this thing! Hoo-rah!
Jamal: I'm not sure that's a good idea.
Isiah: Just get hot. Get hot. Get hot get hot gethotgethotgethotgethot.

-On that note, who decided Crawford was Mr. Clutch on the Knicks? How come I didn't have a vote? I remember him banking in a half-court shot against the Rockets...but other than that, nothing. In fact, I'd say he's the LEAST clutch player on the team. And why on EARTH would you shoot a three? Get to the basket, draw some contact! And even if you are gonna shoot a three, why don't you let the perfect-as-of-yet Richardson put it up? FUCK!

-Curry looked a LOT better. Even the fouls he committed were kinda shit calls. He needs to help out a lot more on D, as does Frye, but there's no question that he's improved.

- Marbury and Francis looked perfectly comfortable sharing the ball. Seriously.

- The guards need to fight over picks. No one but Robinson even attempts to do so. They're gonna get abused if they don't put in a lot more effort.

Damon Stoudamire is a paraplegic, yet can still get into the paint. Marvelous.
- What bigs do you play in the clutch? Frye is very shaky in tight moments, and Curry is to liable to do something stupid.

- Maybe the Knicks need to get a little more balls-out on defense. They're not gonna be able to stop a hot shooter, so why not gamble more and try to create some pressure and turnovers? Just a thought.

- The Grizzlies were miserably bad, but Gay, Warrick, and Lowry looked fantastic. Gay showed a lot of great moves from different spots.

Elsewhere...

Kieran Darcy is ditching an undefeated team. What a douche.

Good rundown at Knickerblogger

Today is a day of rest and reflection for the Knickerbockers. Hopefuly a lot of both.

...

Jeez. We'll talk tomorrow afternoon.

They're Back!

And so it begins. Tonight the Knicks take on los Vancouver Grizzlies of Memphis. As we know, Gasol is out, which is a blessing considering how badly he torched us last year. The Grizzlies dooooon't really have a center...(goes to Grizzlies website)...Yeah, no. Jake Tsakalidis is the best they have to offer, so this could be Curry's first chance to show us his new manly self. Expect him to either get called for a heap of fouls and pull out the classic Eddy Curry "Whatthefuh!?" face, or go nuts and abuse the Memphis front line. I'm more than ready to watch some Knicks basketball. Let's do this.

Gracias, Pau.
Anyway, check out what these mean bastards said about our Knicks. (Link via Truehoop)

Also peep the not nice things Simmons had to say in his preview article today...

If you're trying to figure out how the Knicks season could possibly be more entertaining than it was last season, well, here's how: More fat guys! Move over from the buffet table, Jerome James, Q and Eddy are coming in for seconds! If they ever start the same game, the PA announcer should announce them with their combined weight, like they're a wrestling tag-team or something.

It goes on. He's got some legitimate beefs with Isiah later on, but what's with that comment? Eddy's slimmed down considerably, and Q isn't THAT fat. Also, if he's so against heavy guys on the Knicks, why would he possibly have wanted them to keep that undersized chode of a center they call Jackie Butler around? I don't get it. Other than that, it's a great article and you should check it out, I guess.

Expect some passionate fumes or praise later this evening or tomorrow. Peace out.

The Best Day of the Year

Basketball season starts tonight, bitches. Damn it feels good. Due to the return of the NBA, the NY Times published their NBA preview, along with an article about the Knicks' upcoming season. Harvey Araton describes Isiah Thomas' situation as one requiring great luck, as he has been given a relatively undefined goal. We've all heard that he must make "progress" to not be canned, but how much progress is progress? I'd kinda like it if no room was left for interpretation when judgement day comes. So i'll throw out a number...

That's right, kids. 41. .500. (And how often do you get to see a picture of Glen Rice? That guy was filthy good back in the day...Anyway.) It's childish I know, but then again, so is Isiah Thomas. So far, just about everything he's done has baffled Knicks fans and media pundits. Therefore, the only way he can prove his worth to us is to show that the team is far awesomer than it was in past years. I want to see, straight up, that this squad is more capable of winning than it is losing. To me, only this would justify the spending, the dark horse draft picks, the revolving door of coaches, and everything else. This is my interpretation of Dolan's ultimatum.

Like I said, it may not be practical or logical, but neither is the employment of Isiah Thomas these days.

Anyway, some things...
Ernie Johnson is back at TNT tonight after months of chemo for Lymphoma. Ernie's one of the most likeable guys on one of the best sports programs ever. I'm enthralled to have him back on my television. Big ups to Ernie. Dude is a warrior.

Also, Deadspin has it's "tiny tidbits" on the Knicks today, including the delightful morsel of trivia that Kelvin Cato is a children's book author. I did not know!

Kelvin shows the kids how to h.o.o.p.
Peace out, and remember to avoid unwrapped candy.

Knicks News

Nothing exciting today, except that Jalen Rose was officially kicked out of New York. A fine move by Isiah, in my opinion. As this article points out, Quentin Richardson is now solidly in line for the starting SF job. Q, to me, showed signs of the three-point form and rebounding prowess that is his game. His actual shooting form and movements on the court just look more natural than they did last year. Time will tell.

By the way, who do you think should take up the newly opened 15th spot on the roster? I think a nice, white 3-point gunner might fit the bill. Casey Jacobsen and Mike Gansey are on the market, are they not? A defensive guy? Gimme some thoughts.

Knicks season starts on Wednesday. Get pumped.

EDIT: ESPN came out with their predictions which I always enjoy. Channing got one vote for Most Improved from John Hollinger, who spares no love for the Knicks.

I usually don't like doing predictions but I've gotta take a whirl...

East: Cavs over Wizards
West: Spurs over Suns
Champ: Spurs- Finals MVP Tim Duncan

ROY: Duh, Brandon Roy. His last name is Roy, dammit!
Most Improved: Jumaine Jones Andrew Bynum
Sixth Man: Jamal Crawford
Coach: Don Nelson
Defensive Player: Artest. No contest.
MVP: Lebron, finally.

More on the Rose Buyout

As Brian Cronin at Knickerblogger notes, the Rose buyout could mean that the Knicks owe 52 million crispy chicken sandwiches to 5 different non-Knicks. It's not exactly something to be proud of, but it's better to have open roster spots than to have Maurice Taylor and Shandon Anderson festering on the bench. Or playing for that matter. The fact is, the expense is worth correcting the mistake.You might say the Knicks are like a rich lady who keeps getting boob jobs, only to get more expensive reductions a year or two later. Or something.

Peace out.

Sunday Lookalikes

Completely un-Knicks related lookalikes for today...

Eric Mangini vs. Garfield


I know, right!?

Knicks News

Quick update for today. It appears as if Jalen Rose might be out of this house within a few days. Apparently he's out of shape and not in the best of mindsets, so it's easy to see why. Considering that he has absolutely no place in the Knicks' rotation, it's probably better this way. I'm sure, also, that this will be comforting to QRich, whose minutes might've been hijacked by Rose throughout the season. Let's hope this goes down.

I'll update with some baller-ass lookalikes later in the day.

*About that above picture:
A. They should get Buck Williams to kick Rose's ass out the door.
B. Where are Buck's legs in this picture? Look closely.

R.I.P. Red Auerbach

A real legend, and the winningest coach ever in my book. (Bitter towards Lenny Wilkens? Of course not! That's absurd.)

I think it's about time we start nicknaming people "Red" again, too. How bout Red Schwarzenegger? Anyone?

ESPN article on Auerbach