Act One- The Beginning:
-The guys just aren't starting games well. It seems like no one wants to get the basket except for Richardson. Marbury and Francis make absolutely no effort to do anything and Frye still looks like a big pussy.
-I'm pretty sure that if they ran the 3 point contest with Marbury, Francis, and Richardson on D, guys would still put up big numbers. In fact, they might do better.
Act II- The Downfall:
-Shit just gets out of hand. Francis goes down and the threes start raining, particularly from Brent Barry aka "Bones" aka "Hieronymus Bosch" and the dirtiest player on earth, Bruce Bowen. (Bowen is the culprit on Francis' ankle turn. Clyde said that there was "no malice" but Bowen cleary stuck his foot out to undercut Stevie. Francis stuck the shot anyway. Fuck you, Bruce.)
Act III- Monday Night Football
- At 8:30, disgusted viewers everywhere switch to Monday Night Football. Come to the conclusion that Maurice Morris is a cool name, and that if they were his friend, they'd call him MoMo.
- Watching the Knicks get ravaged might actually be better than watching Seahawks-Raiders, viewers casually turn back to MSG.
Act IV- Awakening-
- Discover that Knicks have cut the lead down towards the end of the half-with the help of...Malik Rose!? and... MARDY COLLINS!? MARDY COLLINS GOT HIS FIRST MINUTES AND I WASN'T THERE TO WATCH!? FETCH ME THE HEMLOCK, CAUSE I'M DONE WITH THIS WORLD.
- Momentary quiet as Collins steals the ball and takes it back for the and-one. Mardy for MVP, bitches.
-Knicks down by 13 at the half.
Act V- The Reality-
-The novelty of the second unit wears off quickly, and the Spurs get up big with a barrage of threes and layups
-The starters return, but still suck
Act VI- The Fakeout-
- I finally give up and go upstairs to check my fantasy stats, only to accidentally see that the Knicks have cut the lead to 7
- Race downstairs, and step on my dog on the way
- Knicks cut it to one but don't have me fooled. I swear, I'm not excited at all.
- Yup, told you. Marbury misses a stupid three and it all collapses from there. Game.
- Return upstairs, apologize to dog.
- Once more, do not be fooled by Curry's numbers, because he's playing awfully. He only gets cheap rebounds, and doesn't even LOOK at his shot after he puts it up. It looks like he's kidding or something. Oh, and on the rare occasion that he gets an O-bound, he shot-puts it at the bottom of the backboard almost immediately.
- WOW. The Knicks are taking bad perimeter defense to new levels. Frye and Curry are horrible down low... but good god are the guards bad outside.
- Francis eventually returned--in a suit and tie. Has anyone ever seen this before? I don't think I've ever seen a player have a game-ending injury, but return in street clothes. Bizarre.
- Collins looked good in his minutes. I like his effort.
- Did I mention that I don't like Bruce Bowen? I bet he steps on his dog on purpose. And hits people in the nuts.
Finally, and most importantly, I really fear one thing. I fear that that last run towards the end of the game might fool the Knicks. Granted, it was a fantastic run, but it must not eclipse the fact that the Knicks are playing horribly and without effort. Isiah finally showed the balls to put his foot down during this game, and I hope he doesn't back off because of this little run.
All in all, a strange-ass game, with enough folly to make me pull my hair out, but enough flashes to give me hope. Figures.